Do you follow people who show their homes looking immaculate (me) gorgeous family poses walking through fields of lavender, lots of smiling faces like they are the happiest family in the world and you want their life and their success?

Let me tell you now it’s FAKE!

We’ve all been on family days out and you’ve taken the token family pic full of blissful content faces! You and I both know that probably 2 seconds before that photo was taken the kids were fighting, the dog has just cocked his leg on you and peed all over your shoes! Kid 1 has trodden in dog poo and they are all crying because they are bored and want something to eat!
This is reality, this is real life so don’t be fooled by what you see on social media!

I do have to plead my case though, so far as my house being immaculate is concerned! My house is immaculate because I have OCD, it’s something I have to live through but I do see it as an advantage, but again the turmoil behind that is what it does to my brain 🧠 I can see something out of the corner of my eye that either needs to be moved 2 inches or a splat of something on the worktop and then that’s all I can think of, even if I’m having a conversation with someone I’m not present! My brain is making me visualise cleaning it, or moving it until I do it. So yes my house is very clean and tidy but the reality is it’s mental torture. And of course why would I post a pic of my house before I’ve cleaned through? Because of fear of judgement I suppose.

The reason I’m talking about this is (weirdly) as what always happens with topics for blogs. Fran from @rockpoolcreative said to me about wanting to write a post on her personal Facebook/Instagram feed! She’d taken a gorgeous pic of her and her family walking on the beach with the dogs! But she said after she posted it she felt compelled to explain that her friends shouldn’t be fooled, the kids were tearing strips of each other and fighting, complaining they were cold and hungry, Fran was cold 🥶, Adam was cold, everyone was moaning!! But you wouldn’t have known that!

Another example one of my girls used to follow someone on Instagram and this girl appeared to have the perfect life! Lovely house beautifully decorated, Range Rover in the drive, 2 kids beautifully dressed ALL the time. Always going to amazing places. All from being an influencer! My daughter used to long for this girls life. I call BS is what I used to say to her. She didn’t believe me until one day (by fluke as we weren’t in our area) saw this girl out with her kids. She was not the person she prevailed to be on socials, kids were feral, fighting, filthy and she was screaming at her kids. The house wasn’t even hers and Range Rover was her dads! None of this is any of my business nor does it matter. I am not judging her BUT what she is showing on socials is a lie! But it made my daughter feel inadequate and failing at life 😡until this day! I had to have a long chat with her explaining that what other people do is irrelevant to you. The only thing that matters are the people under your roof. I say this to my friends all the time about other peoples lives not being any of your business. Concentrate on your own family (and your own business).

The reason I’m saying this is because it applies to businesses too.. there was a lovely lady on my BakingCheerleaders Facebook group, who touched my heart so much that I could feel her pain!

Of course everyone puts up their beautiful pics of their bouquets and bakes. Why would we all post our disasters! You don’t do you, you just put up pics that probably took you 50 shots to get that right pic.

She was having disaster after disaster trying to bake cupcakes successfully. So it was like a punch in the stomach keep seeing everyone’s successes. As always, which is what I love about my two Facebook communities, everyone jumped to help her, offering words of advice and consoling her. Explaining that we’ve all been through it and I tried to explain that to be successful you HAVE to fail. Do you honestly think it’s been an easy ride for me? NO and I’ve spoken about this a lot on my stories, I’ve been completely honest and told you all of my failures. I lost thousands of pounds getting my unit, which was totally ignorant of me leasing it before I had signed the Harrods contract! I failed 😞

What you need to do when things aren’t working is stop and work out what is happening. For example if you’re having problems baking cupcakes or trying to make big cakes and they aren’t rising or just not turning out at all, work out what is causing it?

Could be that your scales aren’t right! This happened to me, my cupcakes kept not rising and were like biscuits, I hadn’t changed the recipe, hadn’t changed the ingredients. So I assumed the margarine was off or the eggs were bad. It was doing my brain in and I almost gave up! So, I bought new ingredients, tried again same thing was happening 🤬 until the day I was cleaning my scales and I realised one of the little pads that’s in each corner of my scales to keep them level was missing. Hallelujah! It wasn’t weighing the ingredients correctly.

It could also be your oven, every single oven is completely different. For example my old oven in my kitchen, I used to have to turn to 180 degrees and cook my cupcakes for 35 mins. I then got my counter top oven for my cake room and now have to cook them on 150 degrees for 24 mins (tell me how that makes any sense) get an oven thermometer to make sure your oven is getting to the right temperature.

Lastly it could be the flour you are using. If you are not in the UK you probably can’t buy self RAISING flour. Self RISING flour is not the same. One of my amazing students from the USA has written a blog on my website about how she makes her own self RAISING flour. Game changer!

What I’m actually trying to say is you’re not alone. We’ve all been there, got the T-shirt and the badge to match. If you need help like this lady I was talking about just ask. I have my
Baking Cheerleaders Facebook Group for all bakers doesn’t have to be about floral cupcakes. I have bakers on there who bake bread it’s for all bakers. They are all so lovely and helpful! Also if you’ve purchased any of my wrapping tutorials whether it’s just the wrapping course or a bundle which includes wrapping you are eligible to join my private Facebook community Facebook Group. Again they are all darlings and so helpful to each other.

Lastly, remember NO ONE is going to post a terrible pic! Don’t assume that the post you see doesn’t have a ton of stress and anxiety behind it! We’ve all got awful photos hidden or deleted on our phones🤣 I hope this has given you some comfort if you are struggling. Just ask for help.

Lots of love

Jane x

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